My youngest daughter likes to measure a person’s age by how tall they are. You know what I’m talking about: the taller you are, the older you are. In some ways, that’s a good thing for me as God blessed me with something other than height. My 11 year old son is now older than me! I can pretty much stay young forever.
But alas, if we are mixing ages and heights into a cosmopolitan cocktail, I can say have recently reached the 39 1/2 … inch mark.
When I turned 39, I created a bucket list of sorts. I wrote down all of these goals and dreams that I wanted to accomplish by the time the year was up. I tried to be realistic and I didn’t include anything like sky diving or swimming with sharks. (Not that I have anything against them. I just don’t have the desire to jump out of a plane or put myself on Bruce’s plate.) I included small things like going on hikes, doing daily devotionals, spending more time with my kids, and learning to play the guitar. In all honesty, my bucket list became a New Year’s resolution. It stuck for a month and then was gone in the wind.
So now, six months later, it’s time to do a check in. Just how successful was I at changing my life? How realistic were my realistic goals?
No. I didn’t learn to play the guitar. Nor have I learned to sew. I pretty much put on the same amount of weight I had planned to lose. And, yes, even though I’ve lived in Hawaii for 39 1/2 inches, I still don’t know how to surf. But before I can hashtag the half a year as a fail, let’s take a closer look at what I did accomplish.
- I resurrected my blog and I tried to write at least once a day.
- I woke up and read a bible verse each morning.
- I joined two launch teams to learn a little more about and gain insights on book publishing.
- I bought my domain name.
- I joined writing groups to hold myself accountable.
- I set time aside to hang out with and love on my kids.
- I committed to lead a 45 min breakout session at our church’s family retreat.
and most importantly….
- I wrote my letter of resignation at a very comfortable job and decided (with my husband and after lots of prayer) to stop a life of full time work, and to devote my time to my family and to God in order to see what God has planned for me.
So perhaps this half of the year didn’t shape up as I planned, but I’m not worried that I have less than six months to complete the rest of the list. Because guess what.
I don’t have to complete the list.
Life doesn’t end at 40. (Unless God has something sneaky planned.) So what if I don’t complete my bucket list by my next birthday. These 39 1/2 inches have taught me that life is NOT a game of inches. It’s not all about numbers or beating someone else’s score. It’s not about the sprint to the finish.
Life is a marathon.
And perhaps this last mile was a bit off paced, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up on the race. I will still keep going. I will still finish. There were a few obstacles and a few detours, but I’m not worried because I know I’m still on track. How do I know? Because I know that it’s not in my hands. When the time is right, these goals, these dreams, they will get done. Until then, I’ll work hard with what I have. I’ll look forward to where I’m going and reflect on where I’ve been.
Even if I never reach the top of the mountain, there are amazing blessings just waiting to be discovered at the foothills.
And while I’m still trying to cut a few inches in some areas, I can now say that I’m okay with growing a half inch older.
Because when I do finally reach the end goal. It will be nothing short of absolute paradise.
~Jenn
