There’s nothing quite like trying to do a little research on the internet before the New Year begins…especially if that research has to do with working out and losing weight. It’s a wonder that anyone can get past the “get thin quick” schemes and personalized meal plan memberships and find a safe and effective workout routine for a 40-ish year old woman. It would be so awesome if the Google search bar could just read my mind and up pops up the perfect plan for me. No gimmicks. No ads. No overwhelm.
For me, I love new beginnings. The first hint of color before the eruption of morning. Freshly sharpened pencils and packs of paper tucked into an unblemished backpack. The intoxicating smell of a new release hot off the press. A new year ranks right up there for me.
Perhaps it’s the promise of a new day. The clean slate. The grace that rains upon me morning after morning after morning. How appropriate that after the year of 2020, a verse from Lamentations reminds us the GOOD that is here. Every morning.
Because of the LORD’S faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!
Lamentations 3:22-23 CSB
As I began preparing for this new year, this clean slate, I thought of all the ways I could change the my life: I’ll lose the weight. I’ll write the book. I’ll have a clean and organized house. I’ll get my kids to eat more vegetables. I’ll be an exceptional parent who stays on top of the hybrid (in-person/online) learning calendar for 3 different schools (yeah, sadly that’s gonna carry over from 2020). And after 30 minutes of wading through internet sludge, I realize that I’ll have to come up with a plan on my own. Google may have had an answer, but so did thousands of other “experts.”
I drafted workout schedules, meal plans, Bible reading plans, content calendars, and playtime with the kids. But amidst the excitement of starting a new year, my mind began to drift. The familiarity of having done this all before creeps in, and I realize I’ve had this mindset year after year after year. I vow to do better, and it always ends with unaccomplished goals and “I’ll do better next year.” Before the year has even begun, I already know it will end in disappointment. Again.
But then God reminded me of something I clung onto in the Pit of 2020: Seek Him First.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.
Matthew 6:23 CSB
To be honest, it seems that each time I am blessed with an idea, a seed of a dream, I’ll hold it tightly in my hands. I’ll spend months, maybe years, analyze this idea, exploring all the different option, forecasting all the different outcomes, waiting for the ideal conditions for its reentry into the world. Sometimes, the conditions are never right. Sometimes, in my incessant preparation, I fail to notice the seed withering away in its prison. Sometimes, I plant the seed, but it dies before a flower bud appears. I worry about judgement. I worry about what others will say, think, or do. I worry how it might affect my relationships. I worry how this will change my comfortable and predictable life. As the years go on, I find my hands so full of withered seeds, that there’s no room for any more. It’s no surprise that my ways have not been successful.
It’s not going to be easy to change my mindset. Years of doing things on my own, depending on my own knowledge and understanding, trusting only myself…it’s going to take some time to work this all out. But His mercies are made new each morning, as are my intentions to seek God’s plan over my own.
2021. I’m releasing these ideas, these plans, these hopes that I’ve been holding on to so tightly in my hands. And only then can God show me how. No gimmicks. No ads. No overwhelm. I won’t look first to Google, or experts, or friends, or even to myself. Instead, in thanksgiving, I will seek Him first, handing over the dreams of this year to the One who holds it all. It’s time to take that scary step to trust my life completely in God’s hands. Not just a pinky toe. Not hanging ten over my safety net of control. It’s time to go all in. It’s time to ask. It’s time to listen. It’s time to seek.
It’s time let Him show me–show us–the wonders of this New Year.
Lord,
As this new year, this new season begins, Father, I pray you take this new year from my hands. Take these dreams, these goals, and if they are of You, bless them. In Your strength, Lord, let them be planted and rooted in Your Spirit residing within me, growing and thriving through the sunshine and the storms. God, may this be the year of not just renewing my body, but my spirit, my soul, as well. May I continue to seek You FIRST, and may my plans align with Yours as I learn to abide in You. As we breathe in on this new morning, Father, I lift up those who are right here praying with me. Lord, may they know the plans You have for them in this new year, may they trust that those plans are good, and may they feel Your love and grace each and every morning. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
My soul needed this. ❤
Also, I didn’t know how much I missed your words until I read them again. I’ve been quite scarce on IG, so I haven’t even gotten those… thanks for writing words.
Thank you, Robin! I missed writing words and I’m so thrilled to be able to share them again. 💛