Anyone with a toddler or preschooler knows that children at this age lack a certain social necessity: the all-important filter. When it’s on their mind, they say it. No matter how many times or how inappropriate, children at this age are comfortable with saying pretty much everything.
Needless to say, when my little one started kindergarten, I was excited to watch her transformation from an independent spirit with no regard for the feelings of others, to a socially aware and empathetic global citizen. Yeah. I know. I’m laughing now, too. What in the world was I thinking?
I do notice that she has in fact begun to look closely at all the other social cues. She’s keenly aware of fashion and music. She also picks up on the latest lingo. And like how her older brother was at that age, she enjoys being overly dramatic in her speech. All in all, it makes for a pretty interesting evening when her tank is running on fumes and she gets a little crazy.
The other evening, I also noticed that she and her sister are becoming, well, more aware of their bodies. During a lively conversation in the bathroom, I hear a stunning, yet hilarious comment from the Little to her big sister.
“Sis, your booty is way too big for you.”
Honestly, in that split second I experienced sensations of slight shock (which takes a lot because there is a plethora of oddball phrases coming out of this one on a daily basis) and quick panic that the water I was in the process of drinking would come out of my nose if I laughed as hard as I wanted to. Apparently the Little had become a bit too aware of her sister’s appearance. Maybe this was a great learning moment. Maybe she would apologize. Maybe her sister would knock her out. I waited to hear what would come next. There was a short silence in all the house as I held my breath.
Then Little continued, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Of course that was my cue to poke my head in the bathroom to see how things were going and to quickly change the subject before fireworks started going off. We had a short conversation about how some of our words could make others feel differently that what we intend. But the conversation wasn’t one sided, or two sided. It was three sided. You see, we also teach our girls to love the body that they are in. It’s God’s gift and God’s temple. We take care of it, we are proud of it, and we thank God for everything that makes us unique. We also don’t tease or say hurtful things about other people’s bodies because it is their gift from God, and everything that God makes is Good!
Yup. Still no filter. But I don’t mind. It’s refreshing hearing flat out honesty. Not sugar coated in what someone thinks you want to hear. Or responses that are so around the bush, I get dizzy just listening. Not this one. She tells it like it is.
“Mom, I don’t like this dinner. I’m not going to eat it.”
“K how about I get you some new sheets? Yes? Okay, will that help you stay in your bed?” Smiles cheerfully, “Nope!”
“Hey mom, I’d really like a candy snack. Mom, can I have a candy snack?” “How about a regular snack?” “How about a candy snack?” “No, how about a regular snack?” Smiles, “But I really want a candy snack…. How about a candy snack?”
I pray she never loses that tenacity, and I wonder every day just where God will lead her. One day she will acknowledge and develop her empathic self. But until then, keep the comments coming, I say!
