Going on Six : 12 : Miracles

My kids love looking at pictures of themselves. They laugh at the funny poses, or at pictures of their siblings in diapers – or better yet, naked. They gleefully click on the videos and spend the day imitating younger versions of themselves, which can be quite hilarious… until it becomes annoying. Oftentimes I watch them wake the computer up from its slumber just to wait for the screen saver to come on (which happens to be linked to the entire iPhoto library).

This week I’ve succumbed to one of the many viruses my kiddos brought home. (And I blame them simply because they were coughing first! …and stealing sips from my water cup.) So I had the “luxury” of spending most of my days resting up in bed dozing in and out of consciousness. During one of my many scrolls through social media, I clicked on the “On this Day” feature on Facebook. Can I tell you I LOVE this feature? Yes, some days can be pretty dull, and I wonder why in the world I commented on the fact that I had nothing in my fridge. (I guess I felt y’all really needed to know!) But what I love about this feature is that during birthday season, I get to see the very first pictures of my squishy little ones. And this month, it’s all about Little.

Six years ago, our little miracle was born. Now the term “miracle” means many different things for every person out there, so please don’t feel like my miracle is any greater or less than yours. But our little miracle was that from the get go. I’ll be the first to admit that she was not planned.

As a teacher, we planned out just when we would start “trying” so that the due date would fall nicely somewhere during a school break, or nearing the end of the term. And, apparently, I’m highly reproductive, so there was hardly any “trying” at all. (Pros and cons with that, I’ll tell ya!)  My husband and I were on the fence about having a third. After all, we had a cute three bedroom/one bath home with a beautiful front and back yard, which would need some work over the years. We both had stable jobs and were making ends meet nicely. Our “perfect” little family, complete with the cutest dog ever, was just what we’d planned.

But God had a different plan.

About two months after my daughter’s first birthday, I realized I was pregnant. No, I take that back, I knew probably about two weeks after I conceived, but I was in complete denial until I missed my second period. I can vividly remember sitting on the edge of the bathtub, with my bleary-eyed husband standing next to me (because you know you have to take the test with the first pee of the morning) staring at the stick with a combination of disbelief, panic, and confusion. 

How could we afford another child? We already have two beautiful children, how could God think we need more? There are so many people out there desperately trying to have children…couldn’t God have blessed them instead? 

This wasn’t our plan. Our perfect plan was thrown out the window and the woman who seemed to have control over everything in her life was about to be taught a big lesson.

I couldn’t see it then, probably because of the hormones, but God had performed one of His greatest miracles in my life. And with a whisper, we became a family of five, because it was in His plan. 

This pregnancy was different from the other two, and was compounded by medical discomforts, and risky medical procedures.

You see, during this pregnancy I was one of the fortunate women to get a plethora of kidney stones – in BOTH kidneys. I can honestly tell you that the pain is worse than labor. So naturally, being pregnant with no prior experience of labor pains since the other two were late and had to be induced, I didn’t know if the excruciatingly burning sensation in my back was kidney stones or labor pain. I was at major risk should one of those stones get caught in the tube on the way down to my bladder, so I needed to “go down to imaging.”

You know when you go to get x-rays and they ask you if you’re pregnant? And th warning signs are glaring in your face?  I almost wanted to scream: Yes! I AM aware of the risks! Can we just get this over with? So there I lay, belly-up, holding still on that cold imaging table as they zapped images of my kidneys, while all I could do was pray for the little girl nestled in my womb. I prayed for her health, her brain, her little limbs and squishy things growing in there. I prayed for a shield around her to protect her from those radiation waves that needed to reach my organs on the other side of her. I cried knowing I could harm this child for my own health – but if I was in danger so was she, so I really had no choice. I had to do the x-ray. Not once, but two different times during this pregnancy.

The burden was great, but God was in control.

With the complications came an abundance of blessings. Not only was she born on her due date (both my kids were late, so we were SO not prepared!), but she was completely healthy and beautiful. As far as we knew she had no effects from radiation exposure. And I know if anything had or will go down an “unplanned” path, I will still love this little girl. Because through God’s grace she is our beautiful blessing. In fact, her name means “beauty.” It also means “born of fire.” Both hold true for this little one.

This miracle God has blessed us with has completed our family, but He has restored my faith, and I am ever so closer to Him because of this experience. The lesson here, seems so simple and easy: Have Faith that God’s Plans are Good.

And as I hug my baby, and all of my babies for that matter, I can’t help but to cry with joy to be witness to such miracles as these. I can’t imagine my life without all three of my children. God’s plan proved greater than my own. 

This is part of the Write 31 Days series, “Going on Six.” To read more from this series, please click here. Thank you!