Aloha and Happy New Year! I’m so pleased to be returning to the blog after spending some beautiful time with my family this past holiday season. This post is part of an Instagram series inspired by fellow Hope Writer, Becky McCoy‘s Brave Photo Challenge, which can be found on my IG homepage. (You don’t need an IG account to view it!) I hope you enjoy it and check out the hashtag #bravephotochallenge for other beautiful pictures and words from some amazing women around the world. Be blessed, friends! Love, Jenn.
Friends
The very first Christian book I read on my own was Emily P. Freeman‘s Simply Tuesday. It was the first time EVER that I felt like someone completely got me. In it, she speaks of a period in her life, reflecting on her relationships with others. “In my loneliness,” she writes, “though I knew a lot of people and had many acquaintances, I doubted if any of them truly knew me.”
In being completely honest with you, my friends, this is how most of my life has played out. Perhaps it was social awkwardness, and I just tried too hard. Maybe it was because I lost my brother at a pivotal point in my social development and I became “different.” But more often than not, I went through life feeling like everyone else had a best friend except me. I always felt like an outsider looking in, and even though everyone glanced through the window and smiled, there was no way in. It was like I was that kid that always got picked last for the team. Except I was never chosen.
Now, to be clear, I’m not sharing this to have people feel sorry for me; rather, I share it because at the age of thirty-something, I finally realized that yes, maybe I didn’t have any of those deep life-long friendships that you see splashed across movie screens or pasted up on social media on a daily basis; and yes, maybe that hole, that space in my heart, that longed for deep friendship and companionship was not meant to be filled by a person. That space was meant for Jesus. Because He never fails.
This doesn’t mean I’ve shut myself off from the idea of ever having a “best” girlfriend. No, it would be such a thrill to do life with a friend. But instead of waiting to be chosen. Instead of waiting for my turn, Emily describes a choice we could make:
“I could either continue as I was, waiting for people to show up and surround me, or I could decide to move toward people myself. ….Sometimes when I think I’m waiting on God I wonder if he’s actually waiting on me.”
So, friends, if you find the idea of loneliness consuming you, or stealing your joy, perhaps now is the time to prepare your heart. Build a bench and sit and enjoy the view. Invite a friend. Invite Jesus. But if you find yourself alone, do not despair. Because we never truly are. Be patient and enjoy your moments with the people who are around you. Listen for the whisper in your heart. The whisper that tells you to take a chance. Make the first move. Because someone out there is just like you. Just waiting to share that bench with you. Even if it’s just for a season.
And when they go, we may grieve. But be strong in knowing that even when friends come and go, there is One that will never leave. And our hearts will always be full with His love and the goodness of the friendships we were blessed with.
(I must note that I am currently married to my best friend in the whole world. This post merely deals with girlfriend relationships, which I believe are also very important for women to have – in God’s time.)
