Fences and Walls and Feeling Like Humpty Dumpty

I could not button the top button on my pants this morning.

I kid you not.  It was one of the most horrible feelings in the world, but I refused to face it. Not because I couldn’t believe it. No, I knew I had it coming. Rather, this was happening at 7:15 on a Friday morning, while simultaneously trying to get my three children out of the front door – with all their stuff. I could not address this problem even if I wanted to.

And now, after the dust has settled, and I’ve gotten some caffeine in my system, I contemplate whether or not my “new” body is worth getting all bent out of shape for. (Hmm. There’s a potential for a pun joke there, but  I can’t quite seem to fit in the humor….)

You see, we live in a world where we are overwhelmingly so into looks. In the Age of Selfies – just confirmed by the fact that the word “selfie” does not appear with a red underline beneath it – we can basically cut, paste, crop, and Photoshop our own bodies in real life. Part of me is in awe that such innovation and technology exists; yet the other part of me is appalled at the lack of gratitude in the blessings God has given us.

So here’s my predicament. I sit on the fence, where I believe, on one hand, that God wants us to enjoy life and enjoy the blessings He gives us. He wants us to know that He has created us each uniquely and to be weary of comparing ourselves to each other. In other words, God has blessed me with what are basically “first world problems”. I have an overabundance of foods while there are so many around the world who have so little. (Great, now I’m feeling a little guilty about that….) I should be happy and thankful for who I am and what I have – including my slightly larger, but still properly functioning body.
On the other hand, I believe our bodies are vessels for Christ, and it is our duty to care for these vessels and to keep them running well and efficiently. It is selfish of me to “let myself go,” so to speak. I need to be more cautious as I eye up the homemade chocolate chip cookies sitting on the workroom table. Society leads us to believe the importance in loving food, its tastes and textures. Science reveals the addictive nature of sugar and how many Americans, like myself, have fallen to said addiction.

So what am I to do? I sit here like Humpty Dumpty upon this wall –
teetering one way and then the other. It’s a fine balance, here, I tell you. Trying to honor this body God has given me, but yet trying not to idolize it, taking my eyes off of the One who blessed me with it.

Perhaps I really am Humpty Dumpty. And perhaps I might fall off of this wall – from temptation or pride – one way or another. No, scratch that. I will fall. Time and time again. But only if I continue to attempt to do this alone.

But with our heavenly father, I can assure you every time I fall off that wall, He will help me to pick up the pieces and put myself back together again. Because our God is a GOOD God.  And I am not perfect…except in His eyes.

~Jenn