Lately, I have been working on uprooting the spirit of fear in my life. It’s definitely no easy task. For every branch I’ve cut down, a new one reveals itself. The fear that has taken root in my soul has festered for so long, this task seems nearly impossible!
Now, before we go any further, I’m not talking about my (very reasonable) fear of heights, or of large insects that like to come out at night. No, I’m talking about the fear that hides itself in your heart, lying in wait. Waiting for that very moment you try to move, and then it leaps forth with its deadly grip, paralyzing you, flooding your thoughts, preventing you from taking a single step. These fears take hold of so many of us: The fear of making the wrong choice. The fear of disappointment. The fear of what people might think. The fear of failure.
Like most people, I take the days as they come: the good, the okay, and the bad. But those bad days – sometimes they’re more than just bad days. They’re flat out ROUGH! You know those days when the rain falls, soaking through your clothes, and chilling you to your bones. Shoes, frozen in the mud, and before you can decide to ditch them and run for cover, the puddle inches up your ankles to your shins and you realize you can’t move. You look longingly through the windows of the surrounding homes at joyful smiles, songs and laughter, warm fireplaces, and fellowship – everything you could want, but instead you’re here. Soaked and stuck. In this moment.
And that’s when the fear creeps in, and the lies of the enemy, the lies I’ve become so accustomed to would dance in mockery: You’re not worthy. Who do you think you are? You CAN’T do this. They don’t believe in you. They don’t love you. Where’s your God now? I bet He doesn’t even care. You’ve been left behind. You should just give up.
To be honest, I’m tired of having this fear in my life. I’m totally over it. And in order to reclaim power over my fears, I need to name them, identify them, call them out. So today, I want to share one of those fears with you:
I am afraid of placing my trust in anything:
Trusting others. Trusting myself. Trusting God.
As I revealed this fear for what it was and meditated on it, tracing it’s path to the very root I needed to address, I heard the Lord whisper:
If you cannot trust me, then where is your faith?
Dang. God didn’t pull any punches. Yup, trust is synonymous with Faith. And it hurt to hear that if I didn’t trust Him, I didn’t have faith in Him. I had always believed I was faithful. In fact, one of my spiritual gifts is faith, and one of the very first things I heard Jesus say to me was “Have faith.” But here I sat, as the Truth revealed: I feared putting my complete faith in God.
I was afraid to go all in. To let God lead my life.
I needed to trust that this plan that God has for me might not look pretty, but it is good. I just need to see it through. Perhaps you’re in a moment where you’re feeling stuck too. It seems like everyone else is moving, producing, achieving. But we can’t move an inch. As if He has left us behind.
But can I share with you, friend, instead of fighting to move, I feel God is calling us to look up and forward. Even when we feel stuck in a moment of despair, of sadness, or uncertainty, He’s not done. He’s just placed us here for a moment…for a purpose.
Lift your head. Lift your eyes. (So grateful for two beautiful friends who reminded me to do that this week.) Don’t worry about your feet stuck in the mud, and take your eyes off your situation. Instead, notice those around you in this moment. The lives that God has brought to you in this moment. Do you see the others He placed near you? I have a feeling He wants to use you right now, in this moment, to shift something in their lives.
And like the loving Father He is, He woke me up with these words:
“Daughter! Stop complaining about your situation. What’s happening in your life right now has nothing to do with you, but rather what I am doing THROUGH you!”
My friend, that is the FAITH He is calling us to have today. Not a spirit of fear, but rather a Spirit of Power, Love and Sound Judgement (2 Tim 1:7). Knowing that we don’t need to know it all today. We might not even know it tomorrow. But to trust – to have FAITH – that His works are for good, and the good of His kingdom.
So if you feel stuck today, wondering what God could possibly have in store for you in this moment. Instead of trying to move your feet, look up. Chances are, he’s calling you to be brave right now.
Let’s do it together. Let’s be brave.
Every day we are called to do something brave. Sometimes it’s obvious. It’s starting a new project. It’s gathering the courage to talk to the person next to you. It’s calling someone on the phone.
But sometimes it’s a bit more subtle. It’s getting out of bed. It’s opening your Bible. It’s writing a scripture down. It’s passing that piece of paper to a friend having a rough day.
Let us allow Him to work THROUGH us, directing our steps, instead of us trying to do it all on our own. For through Him, we will move. Let us trust Him in Love, for that is what will ultimately overcome our fears.
May God’s peace be with you always.
