Life is on the move constantly. It’s forever shifting, changing, becoming something new. We often notice how our children change, our spouses change, our friends change, and how we change along side them. For me, this is a season of change – a rebirth, if you wish.
Somewhere along the path of my life, I became a writer. I didn’t start out that way. In fact, my vocabulary was terrible, I wasn’t much of a speller, and my writing style was pretty much “one quick shot at it and then I’m done.” My SAT verbal scores didn’t get me closer to loving the language either. However, as God does from time to time, well, He changed things up a bit.
I lost two very important people in my life at 12 and 19 years of age, so I began to write out of necessity. As a teenager, it was my only venue for getting out my feelings as I felt my life spinning out of control. My writing kept me stable as things around me changed. Now, I don’t think that these life changes miraculously metamorphosed me into some prodigal writer. No, my writing remained haphazard, and aimless. But I didn’t stop. Writing became a part of my identity and I craved those quiet moments when I could just put pen to paper and scribble away. I attended book and poetry readings. I hung out in coffee shops (which is something, when you’re not a coffee drinker) and watched performances in small theatres. As much as I felt I found my niche and wanted to belong with this group of people, I still felt like an outsider. Standing against the window of that coffee house, my hands pressed upon it, breath fogging up the glass. Oh, how I wanted to go in, wanted to belong. But it wasn’t my time. There were other things that needed to be done first.
Fast forward 15 years later. I’m no longer a college student, rather now, I’m a wife and mother of three with a full-time job as a school administrator. Life didn’t sit still for me one bit, and the changes continued, just as the seasons continue to change. And right now, I’m feeling a new change. My heartstrings have been yearning to let the words flow again. I feel a longing to sit in a coffee shop (and actually drink coffee or tea this time) and plug away. I know that it is time. This is the season to write.
I find it fitting that my favorite season of all, Autumn, has just begun. The changing of colors in the foliage fascinates me. The crispness in the air excites me. The smells of the season tantalize me. In Hawaii, we do not get the full experience, but thanks to the internet and technological connections all around the world, I can almost feel present in the experience.
The changing of the leaves reminds me of a book that a special teacher gave me when I was 12, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. While the words on the page were simply the story of a leaf, deep down it was much more than that. It was a story of life, and how the changing of seasons did not necessarily signify just an end, but also a beginning. And right now, as we head into the return of Autumn, I feel as if I am also going through a rebirth. Like the tree in the story, I have experienced this season before, and there’s a strong chance, I’ll experience something similar again in the future, but each time it is different. I’m different.So welcome to my Fall. Perhaps you are going through a change of season too, and I invite you to come along as the colors change and cool breezes fill the air. I don’t know how long my Fall will last. Maybe a month, or maybe a year. Only God knows. But I’m excited about this new season and transformation. The writer is ready to emerge. And this time, instead of writing for me, my writing is for you, for that is what I am called to do.
Be blessed in this new season, and open your hearts for all God has in store for you.
